Old Couples

Sometimes I see old couples when they’re walking down the street and they’re holding hands. I think that’s so cute. But then, I think one has to go first, and that makes me sad.

My mother died before my dad. I don’t think she would have lasted long if my dad had gone first. She had NEVER lived a single day in her life by herself, whereas my dad had been fairly independent since he was a teenager (he went to boarding school). It sounds morbid, but I’m glad she died before he did.

Now I’m on my own. I’ve been since college (I couldn’t wait to get away, but that’s another story), but there’s really no one else. I’ve had to rely on myself all these years. Sometimes I wish there’s someone else I can share my life with, but I think my personality isn’t made for it.