I Love(d) This Country

I came to the US 45 years ago. I am a US citizen. I truly believed it was the land of opportunities, intellectual excellence, and freedom of speech. The last 9 months has been about suppressing opposing views and any opinion that threatens a narcissist’s ego. This is not what I had envisioned. I have had a good life. I loved the opportunities. Now it feels like a dictatorship (worse than Communism), where the Constitution can be ignored at the whims that of a narcissist. It makes me very sad. I don’t feel optimistic.

Old Couples

Sometimes I see old couples when they’re walking down the street and they’re holding hands. I think that’s so cute. But then, I think one has to go first, and that makes me sad.

My mother died before my dad. I don’t think she would have lasted long if my dad had gone first. She had NEVER lived a single day in her life by herself, whereas my dad had been fairly independent since he was a teenager (he went to boarding school). It sounds morbid, but I’m glad she died before he did.

Now I’m on my own. I’ve been since college (I couldn’t wait to get away, but that’s another story), but there’s really no one else. I’ve had to rely on myself all these years. Sometimes I wish there’s someone else I can share my life with, but I think my personality isn’t made for it.

Do People Actually Read My Blog?

I’ve had this blog for 9 years. I don’t think I have any followers LOL. It was really meant to be my personal journal. 

I  had started posting my recipes, which I was sharing the links to on social media, but then there were so many recipes, I decided to move them to a new blog, of which I’m quite proud.

Now, it’s just basically my thoughts and rants. Maybe they’re not that interesting.

I’m More Like My Mother Than I’d Like To Admit

My mother was a neat hoarder. She was very fastidious about tidying, but she was a hoarder. She just kept everything neat and tidy (and hidden, most of the time). After she passed, we found she had kept her homework from high school!

I was doing some “Spring” cleaning and found myself throwing out a lot of things I had accumulated/collected over the years that I was never going to use but I’d kept “just in case.” I guess that was something she drummed into me. “You never know when you’ll need it!”

Well, I was never going to use any of it, so they went in the trash. It felt good!

There’s plenty more! But it’s a start … 😩

Jaw Clenching

I notice I’ve been clenching my jaws a lot more lately. I’ve always had issues with grinding my teeth while I’m sleeping, but it is becoming more noticeable, especially during the day. I’m sure it has to do with stress.

I’ve also felt like my jaws are too big for my mouth. I have to open my mouth wide once in a while to relieve my jaws during the day. I have a hard time with brushing my back teeth because I gag easily. I actually feel the back of my jaws pushing against my inner cheeks, and it’s annoying.

The Art of Procrastination

This was the title to an essay I suggested to a friend in college when she couldn’t think of a good title. She and her professor loved it!

I’m procrastinating. I have something that I really need to do, but I keep putting it off. Sigh 😢

I really must get to it. I don’t think I have the luxury of more extension.

I Have No Words

The government has declared war on Chicago. These are not the kind of images and words I want to see or hear about Chicago.

From the BBC:

A little-known provision of US military law governs the president's authority to deploy the National Guard on his own. Until now, presidents have rarely used it.

American law allows the president to call National Guard troops from any state into service if the US is "invaded or is in danger of invasion by a foreign nation", or "there is a rebellion or danger of a rebellion" against the US government.

Trump invoked this law to bring 2,000 National Guard troops under his control in June in order to support raids led by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

From Associated Press:

Under federal law, the president can take command of a state’s National Guard troops in limited circumstances: when the U.S. is being invaded or is in danger of invasion by a foreign nation; when there is a rebellion or danger of a rebellion against the United States; or when the president is “unable with the regular forces to execute the laws of the United States.” 

I Don’t Understand The Appeal of Gambling

 

I don’t even gamble when I’m in Vegas or Atlantic City or at some of the smaller casinos in the Chicago area (I generally go for the food), but I’ve been playing slot machine games on my phone. I don’t buy any additional “chips” or perks. The games give me hours of free mindless fun, and the graphics are rather cute, but I can see why people gamble to chase the wins. I just quit when I run out of “chips.” The apps award free chips on a regular basis, so I can play again.

I have several different slot machine apps, all of which let me earn points to redeem for real rewards, including free hotel stays! They also have a Solitaire game, and I can earn points as well. But they’re almost all for Vegas. What’s the point?

The program occasionally offers using reward points to donate to a good cause, which is what I do to spend it down. I have no use for them, anyway. I have no idea how much money they actually donate. Someone on the Internet estimated it’s about $0.21 for every 5000 points (it’s a set amount) donation. The program does not specify, which kinda sucks. 

I have donated 81x5000 points to American Cancer Society, Texas Flood Relief (World Central Kitchen), and California Wildfires Relief (World Central Kitchen), so if 5000 points is equivalent to $0.21, that would be a whopping $17.01. Geez 😩

I also used some of my points for a few sweepstakes, but of course I didn’t win anything (I tried). I should have just donated them. 

They do cap the number of points you can earn per day, so I can’t just keep accumulating indefinitely everyday. At least I have fun playing games, although I have been obsessed with accumulating points to make a donation, so I’m playing with a purpose.

Is The National Guard Using Helicopters In Chicago?

There are sounds of a helicopter buzzing in my neighborhood. The streets are fairly calm and quiet, just normal traffic. But the incessant noise really makes it feel like we’re in a war zone, and bombs will be dropped any minute. It is not a good feeling.

Apparently DEI is Evil

A 2020 report by McKinsey & Company found companies with greater gender and ethnic diversity were more likely to outperform their peers. The difference was significant, with gender diversity leading to a 25% probability of higher profits, while ethnic diversity led to a 36% probability.