Tea Bags For Coffee

 

I’ve always wondered why we don’t make ground coffee easier to dispose of. If we can use small filter bags for tea, why can’t we do the same for ground coffee? They do that in Asia!

The only thing is, unlike tea bags, which can be placed directly in the cup, pouring boiling water onto a closed bag in the bag in the cup will make it balloon up. The trick I’ve found most effective is to stand the bag in the cup without closing with the drawstring and carefully pour boiling water into the opening. Once the level of the water equalizes, pull the drawstrings and tie the opening shut. Let steep for a few minutes and remove the bag.

Strong Passwords Is An Annoyance But A Necessary Evil

 

Trying to log into your own accounts can be a pain. There are so many passwords, and even with a Password Manager, they have to be updated on every device. There’s nothing worse than getting locked out of your own account because you have changed the password on one device and forgot to update it on another device.

I Don’t Miss Social Media

I stopped posting on social media two weeks ago. Apart from a couple of profession-related articles that I shared on LinkedIn, I have posted or shared nothing, and I don’t miss it, and that’s from having been designated a “digital creator” for being prolific. I think I’m fine without social media.

Pros and Cons of DEI

 

DEI for the sake of quota is wrong. Dismantling DEI for the sake of maintaining the status quo is equally wrong. No one appreciates a token, but keeping someone down due to misplaced “blind” practices doesn’t do society any good or justice.

Thoughts re Cottage Cheese

 

I think cottage cheese is gross. It doesn’t really have much of a flavor, but that’s not the issue. It’s the lumpiness. The texture reminds me of vomit, and it is not visually appealing.

I know there are people who like it. I don’t have a problem with that, but it’s a no from me.

I have kept an ever-growing list of things I won’t eat for various reasons. It’s usually due to texture or the way they look. I like to think I’m fairly adventurous, but there are things I just will not go near.

My Way

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

Nostalgia for Borders Books & Music

I have a Borders baseball cap that I sometimes wear when it’s very sunny out. I struck up a conversation the other day with someone on the street because of the baseball cap. 

I spent a lot of time there and had purchased a LOT of books and rare music CDs from them. Those were fun times. I still miss Borders.

I really loved Borders, but they were stuck in the past with their business model.

Do I Live in Gotham City?

Sometimes I feel like I’m living in the fictional Gotham City. Gotham has alleys; so does Chicago, while NYC doesn’t. I’ve lived in this area for a long time. It’s supposed to be a nice and safe neighborhood.

But it seems like I’m hearing sirens every day and night nowadays. I have the Citizen app on my phone, and I get alerts about crimes and sex offenders in the neighborhood multiple times a day, and it just seems to be getting worse. I don’t feel safe taking the subway even though it’s VERY convenient. There’s always an incident down the street at the senior apartment building or CVS. It’s really sad and scary.

No FOMO

Now that I’ve decided to take time off from social media (I still read posts; I just don’t “react” or comment or post), it actually feels rather liberating. 

I’ve never liked social media, but it was a necessary evil. It’s too pervasive. It was fine when it was just to keep up with friends. Now most posts are news, advertising, mindless junk, or political commentaries. It’s exhausting and depressing.

Death Comes For Us All In The End

I’m feeling a bit numb right now. I just got word that a good friend of mine passed away this morning after having battled cancer for over a year. I’ve lost friends and colleagues especially over the last few years, some unexpectedly, some after a long illness, some rather young, some middle age, some elderly, and it never gets easier. I was just thinking of them, not having talked to them in a while, but things got in the way, and I never got the chance.

It’s weird that I’ve been thinking about death quite a bit lately. I know it’s inevitable, but it still sucks.

What Shall I Eat Today?

 

I’ve been cooking a lot more lately. I have more time, and I’m running out of dishes to order for delivery. I like trying new things, and I’m having a hard time finding new dishes to try. Plus I sometimes think of what I want to eat and I can’t find it on any restaurant menu.

So, I’ve kept a sorta cooking journal What Shall I Eat Today? to remind myself of the recipes I’ve adapted or created.

I love cooking, but I hate that it takes so long to make something and practically no time to eat it. Sometimes I make too much and then I don’t feel like eating it again. Plus I hate cleaning up.

Right to Disappear?

 

I’m sorta conducting an experiment. Yes, I know, I'm posting to my blog, but no one reads it, anyway! This is more like my personal journal.

Anyway, I’m usually quite prolific on social media, sharing news stories, sharing recipes, posting funny pictures or musings, etc. I’ve decided to stop posting for a while and see if anyone notices my absence. Well, it’s only been since 07/13/24, but I usually posted several times a day. I’ll see if I can go for at least two weeks.

Updates:

07/28/25

I haven't posted or commented on social media. I don't think anyone noticed. You usually don't notice non-existence unless you look. Actually, it does feel pretty liberating not to keep it up.

08/18/25

Continuing with radio silence, not missing it. Someone did notice! 

09/13/25

It’s been two months. Still don’t miss it!

No Known Relatives

I used to work with people with severe and chronic mental illness. For many, their medical records indicated  “no known relatives.” Obviously, it didn’t mean they had no relatives, just that there were no records of who they could have been.

I think technically it would be my story, too. I have no immediate family. Both my parents are gone (they’ve been for over 30 years) and I have no siblings, so I’ve been completely on my own for that long. This is not a sob story. It’s just the way it is.

I have relatives, but I’ve never been close to them. Except for one cousin (who lives in another country), I don’t even know their addresses or phone numbers. I suppose as I think of mortality, I think, do I want to reconnect? What’s the point? 

So, I guess, I have no known relatives (except for one). Is that a bad thing? I used to feel sad for the clients, because it’s like no one cared about them. Now, it’s more my choice that I didn’t want to feel obligated to keep in touch (they did try) for the sake of  keeping in touch. I’m just not interested.

When I’m gone, I don’t care about being remembered. It’s just a blip in the grand scheme of the universe.

Geez, this sounds more morbid than I intended. Sorry. Well, I did call my blog “Life, Friendship, and Random Thoughts.”

Random Thoughts on Criminals

 

This will not be a popular post. 

Yes, we need to focus on, remember, mourn, and honor crime victims. 

But, I am a student of psychology. I always will be. I went into Clinical Psychology not because I want to “help” people (I have a problem with that word, because it implies I am in a higher position to dole out help). I wanted to understand people: why people are the way they are. What shaped them? 

Nature vs nurture: I want to shake the hand of the person who can come up with a definitive ratio. Which means, yes, I want to understand criminals and their motivations.

It does not mean I condone their behaviors, but there is no action without motivation. If someone was motivated by hate, how did that hate come into being? That’s what I think about.

I’ve worked with criminals, including sex offenders. Trust me. Many are not likeable, but, yes, some, I felt sympathy (not empathy) for. I don’t need to go into details, but their experiences (and sometimes, mental illness) shape their world view.  

But that also means I will not accept mental illness as a convenient excuse. I’ve seen how hard it is to be found NGRI or to get a court order to force someone to take their psychotropic meds. TV and movies make it seem like a get-out-of-jail card. It’s not.

I’m speaking here as a trained mental health professional. This is how I feel academically and professionally. It is separate from how I feel as an individual and private citizen.