Thoughts About Death

Lately I've been thinking a lot more about death. We all die in the end. 

As I get older, I think about my parents passing. My mom died in her middle age. I've live past the age when she passed. My dad, who was a lot older, and would be considered elderly, passed four years later.

As we get older, we hear about people we've grown up with, known, or worked with who have passed, and that makes me sad, because the one thing that's sure in life is that it will eventually end. 

How would like I like to die? 

My mom died of cancer. She was in severe pain for quite a while but was diagnosed only 5 weeks (so we have no idea how long she had had the cancer, and she had a history of tumors, both benign and malignant) before cancer killed her. My dad and I were home. She had been in the hospital. They said to go home and they would call if anything changed. That was the last I saw her alive.

My dad died of a heart attack. He had just come back from an overseas trip, which he kept raving about. And then he dropped dead, I'd say happy. Yeah, it sounds weird. He had had a weak heart, so I guess it was a matter of when, so I'm glad he was able to go on his trip. I have relatives who were angry with me for letting him go on the trip. It was his choice, he had a great time, and he died having enjoyed himself. I have no regrets.

How about me? I don't have the health issues they had. For that I am grateful. But I also have a hard time imagining myself going on for another 30-40 years. That just sounds dreadful.

I have no immediate family, just cousins, some I'm close(r) to, and some I don't care about. That's my choice. But, then, will anyone miss me when I'm gone? I have friends, but I don't see them very often. I don't really keep in touch with people. I'm really bad that way. I can go on for weeks without talking to anyone. That doesn't bother me.

So, anyway, I wish we could choose our method of death, preferably quick and painless. When it's time to check out, I want it to be my choice. It's not that easy! But, if you do get news of my passing, not from something I could not prevent, rejoice that I chose how I wanted to exit this life.