A few days before or on Mother's Day (as known in most of the world) or Mothering Sunday (as known in the UK), we are often reminded to celebrate the special day. People often post about their lovely relationship with their mothers or grandmothers or other mother figures.
It's all very lovely, but what if your memory of your mother or mother figure had not been pleasant, even traumatic? While mine wasn't exactly abusive, I look back with ambivalence. There were good days, and there were bad days.
Granted, I think her own experience growing up shaped how she parented me. I don't need to go into details what she went through. From what she'd told me, she had a wonderful childhood with a very loving mother (I never got to meet her). She was a teenager during the Japanese occupation, so she was kept at home a lot.
I think she developed a lot of paranoia (which I probably inherited) and GAD (which I probably also inherited) because of the very protective environment, but she never grew out of it. She became very protective and even possessive of me, which didn't help with my upbringing.
I am not complaining. I just find it difficult to relate when people post Happy Mother's Day messages.
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