Some reflections during AANHPI Heritage Month

APA (Asian Pacific American), AAPI (Asian American and Pacific Islander), APIA (Asian Pacific Islander American), AANHPI (Asian American, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander), APIDA (Asian Pacific Islander Desi American), APISA (Asian, Pacific Islander and South Asian) 

We have an identity problem. If we can’t agree, we’ll always be jostling for resources and recognition. There is no easy answer.

In other countries, the nationality comes first, then the ethnicity: e.g., British Asian, Canadian Chinese, etc. We have it the other way round.

Asian Americans cannot agree who is Asian American. Should South Asians be in a different category? What about Central Asians, who look “Asian” but are culturally more similar to Eastern Europeans? And, Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders cannot agree if the APA or AAPI umbrella does them justice.
Recent anti-Asian hate crimes have been perpetrated primarily against anyone who looks East Asian, and that includes Southeast Asian (we can’t expect racists to be able to tell the difference, but that’s beside the point). South Asians had/have been mistaken for people of Middle Eastern descent. That’s also beside the point (who said racists were smart?).

When people say Asian, most of the time they imply East or Southeast Asian (maybe even Central Asian, who look “almost” East Asian but without the East Asian names).

Hashtag-StopAAPIHate and hashtag-StopAsianHate have been divisive. Some say we should not say Asian because recent hate incidents and crimes have been committed against Asian Americans. Sorry, the US is not the only country on the planet. Citizens of Asian descent in other countries have also been victims of race-based incidents and crimes. It’s not a uniquely American phenomenon.

The question is, should Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders and South Asians be separated from the APA label? We need representation, and we need strength in numbers. Would that hurt or help us? I don’t know what the answer is.

Comments are welcome, but please be courteous.

Reflections on Mother's Day/Mothering Sunday

A few days before or on Mother's Day (as known in most of the world) or Mothering Sunday (as known in the UK), we are often reminded to celebrate the special day. People often post about their lovely relationship with their mothers or grandmothers or other mother figures.

It's all very lovely, but what if your memory of your mother or mother figure had not been pleasant, even traumatic? While mine wasn't exactly abusive, I look back with ambivalence. There were good days, and there were bad days.

Granted, I think her own experience growing up shaped how she parented me. I don't need to go into details what she went through. From what she'd told me, she had a wonderful childhood with a very loving mother (I never got to meet her). She was a teenager during the Japanese occupation, so she was kept at home a lot.

I think she developed a lot of paranoia (which I probably inherited) and GAD (which I probably also inherited) because of the very protective environment, but she never grew out of it. She became very protective and even possessive of me, which didn't help with my upbringing.

I am not complaining. I just find it difficult to relate when people post Happy Mother's Day messages.